THE RELATIONSHIP RECESSION
BLOG POST
for The Sunday Times
Published in print and online, this blog post for The Sunday Times engaged hundreds of thousands of readers in the UK and abroad
New research suggests the island’s government may be trying to solve the wrong problem
Cyprus is running out of people.
This, says our government, is a crisis. It’s a threat to our economy, our pensions, our future. Something must be done!
And so, over the last few years, the powers that be have poured over €100 million into encouraging the island to have more children: cash for babies, extended parental leave, subsidised childcare.
But, according to a new report written by John Burn-Murdoch, the Chief Data Reporter for the Financial Times, Cyprus may be trying to solve the wrong problem. Because the issue isn’t fewer children. It’s fewer couples...
For a long time, we all thought the plummeting birth rate – not just in Cyprus, but across much of the developed world – was down to couples producing fewer children.
In 1950, our island’s national fertility rate stood at 3.829 – each woman of child-bearing age producing almost four children. At the turn of the millennium, the figure had halved to 1.7. And, since 2020, the island has seen a drop in fertility rate of 0.6 year on year.
To keep a population stable (without immigration), you need a fertility rate of 2.1 children per woman. Cyprus is at 1.37. We’re not just below replacement level – we’re a population in decline. Without a dramatic shift, the island faces an aging society, labour shortages, and increasing pressure on pensions and social services.
Our government talks about falling fertility rates, the increasing age of women at the birth of their first child, and rising life expectancy. And it disburses cash incentives to couples or targeting young women with promises of housing subsidies, IVF funding, or monthly allowances for new mothers under 30.
But what if that’s like handing out free petrol when the real issue is that nobody’s buying cars?
Because, according to the new data, the problem actually begins before babies, before family planning, even before couples decide how many children to have. It begins with fewer relationships.
This isn’t just a Cyprus problem. On every continent (from Latin America to sub-Saharan Africa) the number of young adults who are married or cohabiting is in decline.
The Financial Times calls it a ‘relationship recession’, a global shift where fewer people are forming long-term partnerships. Technology is largely to blame, it suggests: smartphones have replaced small talk; dating apps deliver indecision.
Women, in particular, are re-evaluating their options. With financial independence and broader horizons, they’re no longer settling for relationships out of necessity. More choice has led to higher standards – and, often, no relationship at all.
“It’s not that women don’t want relationships,” says Maria Georgiou, a 34-year-old corporate lawyer who’s single by choice.
“It’s that we don’t have to settle anymore. I have a good job, I’m well-educated – I don’t need anyone to provide for me. So if I don’t have to suffer fools, why should I? When there’s a red flag, I just walk away. If that means no children, then so be it.”
Another reason, the report notes, is a shift in priorities. Relationships were once a milestone – now they’re just an option. Careers, travel, and self-growth take precedence, while rising living costs and work pressures make commitment feel more like a burden than a goal.
“When my dad was my age, he’d been in a full-time job for 10 years and married for two,” says 26-year-old Mark Pantelides. “But I’ve just finished my Masters. I need to get a decent job, pay off my studies, and put down roots before I even think about a steady relationship. With wages in Cyprus low, and living costs always rising, it’s unrealistic to expect me to be able to afford to couple up and start a family.”
As a man, Mark will also need to navigate the shifting relationship landscape. The Financial Times notes that while women have embraced independence, many men still expect traditional roles. So it’s no surprise that fewer people are coupling up – or staying together.
Marriage plays a part in this. In Cyprus, just 20 per cent of births occur outside marriage, one of the lowest rates in the EU. At the same time, the island’s divorce rates have soared from 0.2 per 1,000 people in 1964 to 2.6 in 2019. But while marriage has become less stable, the idea that children should come from traditional family structures remains deeply ingrained – leaving fewer viable paths to parenthood.
“I may, in time, adopt,” says 28-year-old financial analyst, Stella Lazarou. “I know it’s not an easy path to take in Cyprus, where biological family is everything and women are still pressured to marry. But I’d rather go it alone than settle for the wrong person just to fit the mould.”
This ‘relationship recession’ isn’t just a vague trend – it’s producing radical social shifts around the world. In South Korea, the ‘4B’ movement encourages women to reject dating, marriage, sex, and childbirth altogether, citing gender inequality and outdated expectations. In Japan, an entire generation of so-called ‘herbivores’ is opting out of relationships entirely. Even Africa is seeing similar patterns emerge, as greater connectivity spreads liberal values, increases female empowerment, and reshapes expectations around relationships and marriage.
Across cultures, the message is clear: for many, relationships are no longer a given – they’re a choice. And increasingly, the choice is to remain single.
The Financial Times argues this isn’t just a developed-world phenomenon – it’s hitting poorer populations hardest. Relationship rates are falling fastest among those with the least financial security, suggesting that economics play a bigger role than we think.
And in Cyprus, where the cost of living is rising, wages are stagnant, and housing is increasingly out of reach, it’s easy to see why young people might hesitate to commit.
Add in shifting cultural expectations, digital distraction (our island’s social media usage is among the highest in the world), and the growing appeal of independence, and the picture becomes clear: fewer relationships, fewer babies, and a future no government cash incentive can fix. Perhaps our authorities should subsidise speed dating instead?